04/20/21 Day Thirty-Four - Whoa, we're halfway there

You know, I woke up this morning realizing I’d forgotten all about this show. Then I watched it and went, oh, yeah...things are stupid now.

So, Chriselai is a thing now and they go to Yale’s weekend parent thing and I’m already sick of hearing the phrase “Rory Gilmore's Parents”. 

But Emily and Richard show up, which I’m thinking to myself, Wow, how are you surprised, Lorelai Sr? Of course, she’s there. Remember? They’re involved with her school life. I mean, really. The nerve.

And because Lorelai is perpetually fifteen, a good chunk of the whole weekend becomes about how mad she is that her parents have the actual nerve to be involved in Rory’s life...while Christopher is clearly having some kind of midlife crisis. He’s like “LET’S INVITE ALL OF RORY’S FRIENDS ON A SKI TRIP!” and gets them drunk. 

(And wait, is that Abed from the Community?)

Anyway, Christopher’s all “I’m a bad dad” and…

Acapella “Living on a prayer?? Wut?

(She's a Brick...House...the lady's stacked/and that's a fact/and there isn't anything wrong with that) 

Meanwhile, Luke accidentally starts dating his kid’s swim instructor and they go on the worst date ever. She actually asked him, “Who would play YOU in a Luke Danes Movie?” She starts talking about her obsession with Marlene Dietrich, which...

Okay, do any of you know who that is? I mean, I know probably not too many Millenials, but...any straight cis-gendered individuals out there around my age have ANY idea? Betcha Luke isn't one of them.

Side note: Kirk is tired of Lulu...because Luke’s single, now. Thankfully, Luke saves Lulu from becoming a weird smell in Kirk’s basement by telling him he’ll break him like a twig if he breaks up with her. 

Anyway, next episode, Chriselai is off to Paris and they sleep through the first nine hours, so they decide to wander the Paris streets late at night looking for an open restaurant and it occurs to me that this would be a great opening to a horror movie about french vampires. In fact, I’m pretty sure that movie exists somewhere.

Anyway, Christopher remembers that he’s rich and they get food. *yawn*

Rory is stepping down as editor and Paris is so bitter, you know, because she’s as crazy as a bag of cats. And Rory’s bored so she calls her new friends Lucy and Olivia and slumming in Stars Hollow. They do their hair, Rory has a midlife crisis, and then she finds out that “Nice guy” Marty is dating Lucy...and he’s pretending like they don’t know each other...because…

Yeah, I don’t know. It was weird.

Side note: Lane and Zach are having twins. OMG AND LANE DIDN’T TELL HER MOTHER ABOUT IT YET?!?!? WHAT IS THIS SHOW??? But then, THEN, her mom’s like, “You’re moving in with me.”  And then they’re like, “No.” And then mom sells their roommate off to some Korean family and she moves in there. (hysterical laughter) 

Also...is Kirk worst this season? Like...he’s graduated to actually psychotic creepy.

Wait, wait, just when we’re all getting bored, Christopher’s all “This is so perfect. LET’S GET MARRIED RIGHT NOW!” 

And as much as I hate this relationship, I admire Christopher’s ingenuity.  It really was the only way anyone was gonna get to marry Lorelai Sr.