05/12/21 Sprung on Spring

Recap...

Rory’s writing a novel for a crazy British lady, she’s also still not-dating Logan (Oh, look, there’s Logan’s dad) and Lorelai is in therapy with her mom.

And they’re holding a town meeting to plan for a Pride parade and I’m happy to report that there are very few gays in Purgatory. (I always knew it)

Anyway, they can’t do it, because despite what certain people have been led to believe, there is a startlingly low number of homosexuals living in Stars Hollow. Also, Taylor commits a HIPAA violation and steals Lorelai’s guest list and finds there are B-movie actors in town and WE CAN’T HAVE THAT!

Michel has a straight-up meltdown because of the B-listers. Lorelai talks to Luke about it, but Luke’s basically like F* that guy.

Side note: Paul Anka’s still alive?? I'm not repeating myself, I mean the guy, not the dog.

And also, the movie they watch on movie night...Eraserhead?? This really is Purgatory.

But Kirk’s short film. Hysterical. Best thing I’ve seen so far.

Anyway, Lorelai’s afraid Michel is leaving and is that Rachel Ray? Funny.

Rory’s kicking it with Logan even though he has a fiance. Gah, she really doesn’t change ever does she?

So, Lorelai and her mom in therapy is great, although the therapist doesn’t actually do anything (the writers don’t like therapists apparently). I mean, she just sits there and listens to them bicker. She doesn’t give them gameplans or...anything. I’ll tell you what, though. It’s pretty clear Emily is tripping this time because doesn’t want her daughter to be alone.

It’s no wonder Emily quits. But Lorelai is still going, so...I mean, even a slightly inept therapist is better than no therapist, I guess. For Lorelai especially. She needs therapy, but I’ve said that many times.

Emily invites Luke to dinner to tell him that Richard left him money to create a franchise...and because this came from Lorelai’s parents, she’s like “NO! NOT GONNA HAPPEN!”

But, hey, Emily decides to take over Luke’s life with the whole franchise thing. Luke doesn’t fight it, he just goes along with it I suppose because...yelling at an old woman is messed up? But then he finds out she stopped going and Lorelai’s lying about it? Don’t know why? It’s weird.

Rory and Paris go to their alumni thing at Chilton and Paris does her best to ruin a good time because she’s Paris. And then...she sees Tristan. 

You guys remember Tristan. The jerk from the first season? The only guy that was worse than Jess that tried to break Rory up with Dean?  You guys remember that Paris was into him, too? Psycho that she is, she’s still into him. And then, Francie walks into the bathroom and suddenly Paris is suddenly 17 years old again yelling about Puffs and not getting into Harvard.

Man, Paris is crazy as hell.

Anyway, the headmaster subtly tells Rory that those who can’t do, should probably teach and he’s got some openings whenever she wants to give it a shot. So, Rory calls Logan and asks him to ask his father to put in a good word at Conde Nast. (I love it that he gets out of the same bed his fiance is in to answer this call).

She does the interview and it becomes pretty clear that they’re looking for her to do fluff pieces...Lines and Sports...at least they didn’t ask her to be a gopher.

But then, the crazy brit that she’s doing a book for fires her because she’s - the brit, not Rory - nuts. She decides to stress take the job about lines.  Literally lines. Like why people stand in lines. In all her travels...she had sex with a guy dressed like a Wookie…

When this girl spirals, she really spirals. Lorelai tells her to chill and take a stable job, the one that has been stalking her this whole episode. She goes to the interview and bombs it. Bombs an interview with people that stalked her to get her to the interview. Wow. The kicker is that she lets her know she’s not going to work out before she even leaves the building.