05/13/21 Summah Time, Summah Time Loving, Loving in the Summah tiiime

It’s summer and Rory is back in Stars Hollow. She keeps saying she’s not back, but she is. 

April’s visiting and she’s all nose rings and German films...only she’s a total poseur, which was cute. I laughed.

Anyway, Rory is bored and wants to hang with Logan, but Logan has a fiance...that’s moved in, now. Rory. Come on. Seriously? 

Anyway, town meeting - there’s a thirty-something gang full of people who failed in life and have moved back home, they’re doing a musical, and they have broken air conditioning. The town paper is closing so, Rory decides to get it back up and running.

Michel has come back from wherever and Lorelai’s still worried about him leaving and why do they have boys holding parasols over their heads? Did they buy young boys for the summer?

Side note: Just heard Babette use the term clam jam and I’m scarred for life.

And Lorelai’s correct. There is no such thing as Kinky Boots as a character, but, you know, Taylor is just doing his job as purgatory demon so you can’t blame him for messing with Lorelai.

Anyway, they see Lorelai’s director and they have a totally inappropriate conversation about getting in the play, but whatever.

And then Michel wants to talk. (Dum, Dum, DUM!!!) They go to the Secret Bar (which is an awesome thing, btw) and Michel tells her that he’s leaving, just as she suspected. I’m not mad at him, actually.

Okay, so Rory finishes the first edition and finds she has to deliver the paper herself and wouldn’t you know it, the town is complaining and, Yo, the Thirty-Something Gang is clearly a cult. They’re all Children of the Corn “I DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE I DRINK IT UP!!”

Now, in the middle of this Rory calls Emily and she answers like someone who’s recovering from a hangover. She tells her mother and Lorelai’s like, “So?”

And I’m like, Damn, Lorelai. Could you get a more clear cry for help? Bro, that’s your mom.

And the musical. Oh, my God, you guys. Oh, my God. I’m gonna be walking around singing “STAAAARS HOLLOW” for days. It’s probably the worst thing I've ever seen and I loved every minute of it.

I will say this though, Lorelai watching it in horror while everybody else is like, “GREATEST SHOW IN THE WORLD”...let’s just say I can relate. (snort)

OMG, they started rapping in the middle of it. THEY STARTED RAPPING!  I’M HOWLING. (and Pu-pu-pu-pu-puuuuutin! And then ending with ABBA for no reason!!!)

Seriously though, the absolute best thing about this entire show is this frickin’ musical.

Okay, and when they sit around discussing it and everyone attacks Lorelai because it was a terrible show...again, let’s just say I can relate.

And yo, Carol King singing one of her songs.  That was lovely. And then, and then, Lorelai gets jumped by Violet. (dying)

Anyway, back to Emily who’s clearly severely depressed. Rory tries to talk to her and she tries to tell Lorelai that there is something really wrong here. Lorelai’s still, “Ugh...all right. We’ll hang out with her.”

And then...holy shit, is that Jess??? Damn, he filled the freak out, didn’t he?

Okay, fine, it’s been, what? 20 years? He’s a better guy, right?

This is weird.  He is like a completely different person. Like...no one frickin’ changes in this show. You’re telling me the literally worst person on this show(other than Tristan and maybe Taylor) is the one guy that turns into a totally different guy twenty years later? Anyway, he swoops in and gives her some much-needed inspiration...wild.

I think that’s Jess’ job now. Swoop in and say something that makes Rory go, “You’re right even though everyone else pretty much said the same thing to me!”

Okay, back to Emily. So, Lorelai goes to see Emily and Emily is kicking it with that one guy she went on a date once when Richard and she split up for a second. He’s decided to drive them to the cemetery to view Richard’s headstone. Lorelai’s all MY MOM CAN’T HAVE A BOYFRIEND WHY DID SHE GO TO THE CLUB NOW SHE’S DATING JACK SMITH!

Anyway, Emily and Lorelai fight again. Emily attacks Lorelai for Luke being a “partner” and for her judging her relations with Jack Smith. After that, they go to the cemetery and Rory tells her she’s writing a book about their relationship and, of course, Lorelai has a problem with it. 

Are you kidding me? She attacks Rory like she’s writing an expose on her...like she doesn’t know Rory admires her...tf is wrong with her?

And that leads into the fact that Lorelai didn’t tell Luke about her going to therapy (that’s clearly not working) and him going to see other franchises. And it all comes down to Luke pointing out that their lives are separate and that’s the way they wanted it in the first place and what a damn mess.

So, Rory breaks up with Logan because she wants to turn to him because she’s upset, but she realizes she can’t because he’s with somebody else...so she tells him that it’s over. Well done, Rory.

And we all end with Violet singing a really beautiful song that touches Lorelai’s cold, black heart. She decides that she’s going to leave. Just leave. Just break out. You know. To find herself. Thus summer ends.

Ugh.  One more season to go.