Another Beautiful Day in Purgatory

  So, it’s Lane’s baby shower today and Lane and her mom are fighting because Lane and her mother need therapy. *sigh* For some reason Lorelai is playing mediator and I don’t think I care. So, Logan lost everybody’s money and now he’s depressed, so he bails out of the baby shower and decides to go to Vegas and Rory and the rest of us are like, “WTF?” Side note: Luke’s purgatory demons have decided to sell Luke’s boat without asking him. That leads to a conversation about Luke and Liz’s father being “stuck”. Luke decides that he’s going to plan a trip to Disney World because HE'S NOT STUCK and this is what purgatory demons do, Luke . And then Kirk is...being Kirk. He buys Luke’s boat and names it the S.S. Lurk. Not sure why the roster has assigned three purgatory demons to Luke, but whatevs. But now the serial killer has a boat.  The baby shower happens, lalala, Lane’s in a bed because she’s on bedrest, lalala, Lane asks Rory to be her unofficial Lorelai, blablabla. I’m sure y’...

So, we’re at the aftermath of the end of Chriselai, Emily is still planning a party and Richard has a sassy black nurse who don’t take no stuff from Emily. (hard sigh) Purgatory demons Liz and TJ have moved into Luke’s apartment because moths...I guess? And they’re messing with him about calling Lorelai now that she’s split up with Christopher and keeping him awake and breaking his garbage disposal, you know, because they’re Purgatory demons. Hey, writers! BTW, you said that Chriselai didn’t work because she jumped too fast from relationship to relationship...right? That’s what you decided to go with, right? Does this path make sense? No. I’m afraid it doesn’t. You should have gone with logic instead of forcing a plot, but here we are. I’ll bet Logalai will be back in about 2-3 episodes. And speaking of Logalai… Side note: When discussing his friend starting a restaurant, Mitch Hutzenberger used the metaphor of catching a firefly the same way you say catching lightning in a bottle whic...

I'm about to say this with my whole chest.  Fuck. Christopher. Let's review. He bailed on her when her dad was in the hospital, then had the nerve to be jealous when Luke brought her food, and THEN when Lorelai called him on his bullshit, he completely refused to take responsibility for his toddler behavior. “bUt tHe lEtTeR!” Like it’s her fault that he’s a jealous bitchbaby. And then, AND THEN, the writers decide again to make this all Lorelai’s fault. What is with these writers and their need to psychologically abuse the main character? An episode ago - LESS than an episode ago she was ready to make it work because she loved him and was over Luke and now they’re breaking up because SHE rushed into things too fast??? This is some straight bovine residue, y'all. Oh, but then, Lorelai Jr. gets all flustered over a cute guy and starts to doubt her relationship with Logan who, well, has been damned near perfect so far and… Man, I can’t wait to be done with this show.

So, Rory just got back from London for Christmas and the Chriselai family is celebrating Christmas after Christmas, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, Luke needs a character reference letter and Lorelai is all “ IDON’TKNOWWHATTOWRITEDON’TTELLCHRISTOPHER ”. You know. Because Christopher is a toddler. And by the way, the way Lorelai is acting...why does it remind me of an abused wife? She’s all, “I just don’t want to upset him anymore” and I’m like, “ Girl, he is upsetting himself !” So, anyway, of course, Christopher finds out and behaves exactly like we all expect him to. Like a huge insecure brat. And listen, don’t y’all at me about that. That letter was beautiful, yeah, but it wasn’t a profession of love. It was a glowing character reference.  Christopher’s all “iT’s A lOvE lEtTeR.”  I swear I’ve never seen such a skillful self-sabotage in my life. She said to him, “I CHOSE YOU STUPID!” and he’s still like, “I’m nobody’s second fiddle!” I mean, I don’t ship Chriselai. Totally rooting...

When last we left you, Luke demanded visitation rights from April's mom. Welp, today, Luke’s cooled off and all like, “Meh, it’ll blow over.”  (laughs in single mother)   News Flash: You can’t show up at your baby mama’s house in the middle of the night and say “I HAVE RIGHTS” and think it’ll just blow over. April’s mom decides that she doesn’t want April to hang with Luke anymore. Luke goes to a lawyer and finds out firsthand that good, bad, or indifferent, he’s going to have to go through an ugly court battle just to have a little time with his kid. Okay, so Luke and Lorelai cross paths and Luke has little Doula with him. Lorelai goes all gah-gah over the baby as you do and Christopher comes over looking like, “OH NO! SHE’S BEING NICE TO LUKE!”  Yeah, Christopher, that’s your time ticking away. So, Christopher does the logical thing: “Hey, let’s have a baby!” *facepalm* Why is he an idiot? Of course, Lorelai Jr is like, okay, but not now and Christopher’s all pouty and ...

  Okay, so Chriselai… They tell Rory and it goes exactly like we expected. Lorelai Jr.: “We’re married!” Rory: “TF?” Meanwhile, in Logalai-land, Logan makes a surprise visit and lets Rory know he’s moving an hour away...and he doesn’t offer to move her there because why? Yale. See, she’ll be out in six months.  Anyway, he takes her to a company party and gets the chance to write an article about the party for an important guy. She writes the article and Logan clearly gets a bug up his ass about it because he pulls the whole, “HOW DARE YOU LOOK DOWN ON THE ELITE!” I mean...he’s not entirely wrong? She is one of them, but whatever.  Meanwhile, with Chriselai, Chris is moving right in. “Let’s get a flat screen! Let’s turn Rory’s room into Gigi’s room!” And Lorelai Jr. is all, “Hold up! Rory’s pissed at me.”  And he’s all, “WTF? I’M HER FATHER! ” So, what do you think? Two more episodes until an annulment? Maybe three? Side Note: Luke has the sex talk with April using w...